Things I didn't know when I saw the first one - that yellow bastard

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August 25th, 2006

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2006.0825.0747::Things I didn't know when I saw the first one
[ ]
Some things I was disappointed to learn (feel free to guess at the movie and the disappointing sequel):
  1. The guy who would lead the revolt was a whiny brat.
    Terminator and Terminator 2 (batnandu)
  2. The reason they're different is because they're from another planet.
    Highlander and Highlander 2
    thepeopleseason: that's basically a sequel that ruins the first movie.
    batnandu: oh totally
    thepeopleseason: why are they immortal?
    thepeopleseason: because they're from another planet.
    thepeopleseason: fuck that shit.
  3. She may be able to kick some major ass hand-to-hand, but apparently she has a problem with her wrist flexibility which inhibits her ability to open a throttle on a motorcycle.
    The Matrix and The Matrix: Reloaded (batnandu)
  4. He might be all messed up from the war, but that doesn't stop him from going around and killing a whole mess of Russkies!
    First Blood and Rambo III (batnandu)
  5. They may look like they'll kick your ass, but throw some sticks and rocks at them, and they'll run away.
    Star Wars and Return of the Jedi (batnandu)
  6. His powers only work when he's happy/confident
    Spider-man and Spider-man II
    batnandu: you thought [Spider-man 2] was disappointing?
    thepeopleseason: nope.
    thepeopleseason: I just meant that that aspect of it was like "wha?"
    batnandu: that part of [Spider-man 2] was a rather radical reinterpretation of the text
    thepeopleseason: organic webshooters I can handle.
    thepeopleseason: spiderimpotence... not so much.
    thepeopleseason: oh sorry.
    thepeopleseason: spirectile dysfunction.
  7. That stuff that kills him? It just makes him cranky when you replace an unknown component of it with tar
    Superman and Superman III (batnandu)
  8. Apparently, criminals, a cowardly and superstitious lot, are afraid of faux-nipples
    Batman and Batman Forever and Batman and Robin (fyrdrakken)
  9. The badass bad guy who "killed" the hero's father was a whiny, emo, self-obsessed tool.
    Star Wars and Attack of the Clones (batnandu, who adds, "but then, so is the hero")
  10. When those teeth are coming at you, just run--you're faster than it is.
    Aliens and Alien3 (dixiebelle)
Any additions?

Also, GIP. The Pink Gator absolutely hates this new icon.

8 comments | Leave a comment )


fyrdrakken::2006.08.25.04:17 pm
[User Picture]8 has gotta be Batman and I guess Batman Returns or whatever the second one was called. 10 makes me wonder if it's a Jaws thing, but shark + running doesn't seem to quite work.
thepeopleseason::2006.08.25.04:49 pm
[User Picture]Best that I can tell, the faux-nipples started with Batman Forever when Joel Schumacher took over the franchise.
ellenore::2006.08.25.05:33 pm
[User Picture]re: 10-

Wild guess here- Tremors?
thepeopleseason::2006.08.25.05:45 pm
[User Picture]Nope. Great movie, though. Did the Graboids have teeth?
dixiebelle::2006.08.25.05:47 pm
[User Picture]My guess is Aliens and any of it's sequels...
thepeopleseason::2006.08.25.06:06 pm
[User Picture]Exactamundo.
dixiebelle::2006.08.25.06:55 pm
[User Picture]Yay! For once I guessed one before anyone else beat me to it...
-anon-::2006.08.29.05:23 pm
I really really hate it. When are you gonna use that one which says, "Ron Weasley is SO emo"?
- Pink Gator
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