100 Things - that yellow bastard

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January 16th, 2003

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2003.0116.1109::100 Things
I found this 100 Things meme mentioned on bratsey's friend page, and I thought I'd try my hand at it. Heavens, it was a pain in the ass. Like just about everyone else that has done this, I need to add the disclaimer that some of these entries will more than likely qualify as TMI...

100 Things about that yellow bastard

  1. Sometime when I was in middle school/junior high, I visited my father in Taiwan. He had moved there to try to make a living for his family, which was quite difficult on my mother, who opted to stay behind and continue raising my brother and me in Florida. Part of me was ok with his departure, as he was the disciplinarian of my family.
  2. My ex-girlfriend, Marcia, used to hit me until she got her way.
  3. While visiting my father in Taiwan, I met my great uncle, and sometime after that meeting my father took me aside and told me that I should never grow a beard or moustache. My great uncle, he explained, had skills as a fortune teller, with face-reading as a particular specialty. He felt my complexion and attributes were extremely dark; any facial hair would darken them further and give me a high propensity for murder.
  4. One day, after coming home from high school, in a fervent stupor from having to urinate, I rushed into my house, and unwittingly pissed in the kitchen sink.
  5. When I was quite young, my tooth decay/cavity situation got to be so bad that I had to have seven different crowns placed on key teeth. To do this I seem to recall that I had to actually be put under anaesthesia.
  6. For approximately six to seven years, I played the viola as a soloist, as part of a string quartet, and as a member of various orchestra. Given the relative scarcity of viola players, I rose to first chair in the junior orchestra for the Greater Miami Youth Symphony, the GMYS itself, and my high school orchestra.
  7. For all the strict training that I had learning the viola, I honestly cannot read music. I can see the notes, but somehow, I can't parse the timing and beat patterns in my head. For some reason, it doesn't translate very well. It's only after hearing the music for a while that I can in essence memorize the tune and timing.
  8. When I was in college, even while I was dating Rose Marie, I constantly said, "I'm not getting married until I'm thirty...then I start looking."
  9. I'm not sure if I've started looking early or not.
  10. In middle school, I set the goal of attending Cornell and majoring in Hotel Management.
  11. In high school, I set the goal of attending the University of Florida and majoring in English.
  12. In grad school, I learned that English majors can be really, really pretentious.
  13. Following grad school, I remembered that I could be really, really pretentious sometimes.
  14. My first kiss was with a classmate named Kris, while playing Truth-or-Dare sometime in either the fifth or sixth grade. I recall that, like David Mura's Spin-the-Bottle experience, Kris had really no desire to kiss me. She was sitting on the floor against a wall, and I was standing over her, with the both of us uttering protests to whoever had issued the dare. Finally, I quickly leaned down and pecked her lips, but hard enough to elicit some pain and shock from jamming our teeth together.
  15. I wonder, in retrospect, if that was her first kiss, as well...
  16. I have been sexually intimate with five women. Of those five, at least three have lesbian/bisexual tendencies. Several people have told me the rumor that one more is completely out of the closet. I don't know what exactly this says about my taste in females.
  17. One of my most shameful memories was the slight twinge of hope that Rose Marie and I would get back together after I learned that her husband, Scott, had died of heart failure.
  18. One of my biggest regrets is not taking Kristen up on her offer to accompany her to a party. We had met briefly at a condo association party, where we hit it off, talked and laughed for a bit. When she invited me to join her to a friend's birthday party, I froze, and didn't really speak another word as someone else drew her attention.
  19. I'd like a tattoo. What I'd like it to be is in a decisional limbo.
  20. Back in high school, up until about the midway point of my senior year, I had a bit of a mullet. It wasn't like Billy Ray Cyrus or anything, just slightly long in the back.
  21. I never attended my senior prom. I pretentiously felt like protesting the entire affair, and likely robbed myself (or at least Rose Marie) of a key rite of passage for some idiotic principles that I've long since forgotten.
  22. I did attend the prom my junior year, with Kyra, who was then a senior. On our way home, we made out in the back of the limo. Perhaps it was because I knew Kyra would be leaving for college soon, but I had flight reaction amidst our make-out session, and hurriedly excused myself from her arms once the limo had reached her house.
  23. Most of the bad poetry and English assignments I wrote in high school were mildly plagiarized from books and comic books that I'd been reading at the time.
  24. The first time I told Rose Marie I loved her was atop the Sears Tower.
  25. In the first stage of my relationship with Lee, she was a bit hesitant to get sexual, and I told her that our relationship was not about sex. In the last stages of our relationship, I would renege on that assessment.
  26. I've made a cursory study of Tantra.
  27. I've often described myself as a complacent hypochondriac. The most prominent example of my complacency is the strange, recurrent lump in the back of my throat that I'm convinced is throat cancer (a self-diagnosis after remembering The Doctor with William Hurt and Elizabeth Perkins). I've had it for years, and I've only tried to see a doctor (a campus infirmary doctor) about it once.
  28. If somehow given the fantastic opportunity, I would trade my life for Scott's, so that Emma would know her father.
  29. I tend to fall in love extremely easily.
  30. I've actually met The Woman of My Dreams. When I told her that I was in love with her, she replied, "I'm sorry."
  31. I'm pretty horrible at keeping in touch with old friends. I've found that technology has helped a bit in this regard--with Instant Messenger and LiveJournal, but somehow these tools also aid my complacency.
  32. In a loose sense of the word, I've stalked three people in my life. At around 4 to 5 A.M., I wandered about the Graham Area dorms at the University of Florida, hoping to catch some sign of Rose Marie in her dorm room, after I saw her holding hands with Scott. I looked up Stacey's address, and drove around her gated community, following my breakup with Rose Marie. And I find myself drawn to look at Kristen's balcony everytime I walk by to get my mail.
  33. The longest relationship I've had lasted five years.
  34. Following my father's move to Taiwan, I essentially stopped playing the viola with any sort of conviction. Without my father's strict insistence that I practice and play, I would eventually find playing the instrument uninteresting.
  35. In my senior year, I represented my high school in the Academic Decathlon (a geek sort of competition) with a handful of fellow students. On the road trip up to the North/Central Florida competition site, I developed feelings for Stacey, a close friend who apparently harbored feelings for me. At the time, however, I was seeing Rose Marie. The entire situation would progress throughout my last year of high school and culminate my freshman year in college, with Rose Marie finding some letters from Stacey, and sending my glasses flying across the brick stairway of Graham Area Pool.
  36. Towards the end of my freshman year at UF, I voluntarily cut off all contact with Stacey in order to save my relationship with Rose Marie.
  37. On a somewhat related note, I have never had any form of sexual contact (not even a single kiss) with Stacey.
  38. I've found myself to be an extremely giving person, and will often sacrifice my own desires to meet those of my friends. I know some of my friends tend to take advantage of me because of this.
  39. Blame it on Dave McKean and the Vertigo Tarot, but my favorite tarot card is the Five of Cups.
  40. I actually enjoyed Titanic when it first came out and saw it three times in the theaters. I can only cringe now when I watch it.
  41. In 1995 or 1996, I wrote Abraham following my breakup with Rose Marie. Part of me is convinced that I will never write anything as good again.
  42. In high school, Walter's garage band Sacrificial Poultry recruited me as a singer following the departure of their two former frontmen. I would later go on to form Bizarro in Gainesville with our drummer, Brian. I never played a show with Bizarro, however; my return to Miami over the summer saw the band continue without me.
  43. I almost failed out of the accounting program in my second year of college. Until a former high school teacher changed a dual-enrollment grade of mine from a B to an A, I was in danger of losing my scholarship.
  44. Two semesters after that, I switched my major to Computer and Information Science.
  45. Having searched on Google for "100 Things Meme," I realize that I'm writing too much for this damn thing.
  46. I know of at least three other people with the name James Hsiao--one attended the University of Florida at the same time I did, and he encountered numerous problems with my peers from the Inter-Residence Hall Association (i.e. Dorm Student Gov't). He also happened to call my mother to try and get a scholarship from the Chinese woman's group she was president of at the time. Another waits tables at a local Atlanta Chinese restaurant. Another plays (or has played) volleyball at M.I.T.
  47. I've never been to Europe, and regret not going in the nine months I had free after I got laid off from my former job.
  48. Out of all my fingers, my left thumb is the only one that's double-jointed. I think I made it that way by pulling back on my left thumb until something clicked. I did this when I was quite young.
  49. I've only literally "asked someone out on a date" once. She was a waitress (The Devil!) who kept hounding me to buy dinner from her. I replied, "So how about instead of buying dinner from you, I'll buy dinner for you?"
  50. She would stand me up on that dinner...twice.
  51. I've fallen ass-backwards into just about every other relationship that I've had.
  52. I don't smoke, and I really can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke.
  53. My favorite hang-out, DuPree's Tavern, is a smoke-laden pool hall.
  54. I advocate Linux use, but run Windows 98 at home.
  55. I have a mild fear of heights.
  56. I've been bungee jumping twice.
  57. My sport of choice is rock climbing.
  58. For some reason, in the past year, I've made the choice to replace the strength-training workout of rock climbing with the carcinogenic-fog, coughing-muscle training of playing pool at DuPree's.
  59. The shortest relationship I've ever had spanned 1.5 months. The second shortest, nine months.
  60. My favorite meal by far is breakfast; so much so that I tend to eat it for brunch, lunch, and dinner as well.
  61. I have a Master's Degree in Computer Science, although I think my thesis is a bit of a farce. I have discovered, however, that Creative Commons is using a system not unlike the one I described in my thesis for intellectual property rights tracking.
  62. I don't use deodorant. I just don't perspire that much.
  63. I do use a great many breath mints.
  64. The woman of my dreams is now married to someone else.
  65. I have a fierce (and sometimes misguided) sense of loyalty to the people in my life.
  66. My loyalty, however, needs to be earned through respect, friendship, and/or competence.
  67. The Chief Technology Officer at my former job was not a recipient of said loyalty.
  68. In the course of my career, I have:
    1. Entered prospective teacher data into a mainframe.
    2. Created a database to track computers and software.
    3. Helped create a website bulletin board for construction projects.
    4. Prevented schoolchildren from surfing porn on school computers.
    5. Made it easier for people in Atlanta to see pandas.
    6. Made it easier for a liquor company to process orders.

  69. Given that schoolchildren can download porn anytime they want on their home computers, my greatest contribution to humanity so far is a poem, and a colorful metaphor for bowel movements ("I need to go evict some tenants").
  70. I've only ever (somewhat) intentionally hit one woman, and that was Marcia. We were having a argument in the middle of the school, when the first bell between classes rang. When I insisted that I had to go to class, she refused to let me and clutched onto my arm. When I proceeded to walk forcefully toward class, she tripped me. I stumbled and fell, and got up, livid and seething, and in my rage, punched her in the arm. Despite some later cheers from one of my brother's classmates who really detested her, I still regret what I did.
  71. I consider the man who married the woman of my dreams a friend.
  72. I wonder, however, what he thought about the vibrator that an ex-girlfriend had left rolling around the floorboards of my Pathfinder, when a bunch of us piled into my truck to grab lunch.
  73. I can get pretty emotional when I'm not fully awake--I've often found my own tears flowing in that semi-conscious stupor over the most inane things, like the silly morals that Pokémon ends with on Saturday morning or Number Five racing off to perform some insipid act of movie heroism in Short Circuit 2.
  74. At a party following my junior year of high school, I saw my friends Walter and Marianna holding hands, and envied them their couplehood. As I sat next to Rose Marie, I placed my arm around her, and she let me. This is how I fell for her (the first time).
  75. From high school, I graduated fifth in a class of over one thousand.
  76. For a long time, I was extremely bitter about the way Rose Marie and I parted (she left me for Scott, a mutual friend). This was not helped when Lee, my next girlfriend, left me for Allen, my former roommate.
  77. I've lived so long with my bitterness, I cherish it sometimes.
  78. If given the choice between Buffy, Willow, or Cordelia, I would choose Willow.
  79. My favorite variation of poker is Omaha High-Low, followed by Screwy Louie, an Anaconda variant.
  80. I once lost four 9s to my friend Patty's four Aces. The next day I found forty dollars in a garbage can at Aprés Diem. A few months later, I lost four 3s to Patty--who again beat me with four Aces. The next day I found a job after nine months of unemployment. I consider this Karma.
  81. I watch about 17 hours of television a week.
  82. My TiVo, therefore, is one of my most precious possessions.
  83. There are actually two separate events which I could label "losing my virginity." An afternoon fumbling about with my first girlfriend while her parents were downstairs, where I didn't really feel anything, and an evening with my second girlfriend while my parents were away, where I felt everything. That's all I'm going to say.
  84. I have two premonitions of my death--the first is just the feeling that I'm driving through an intersection and someone runs a red light and broadsides me. The second is a recurrent dream where I'm rounding the bend on one of those really tall highway on ramps. My vehicle skids out, and breaks through the outside wall of the turn. Somehow I'm out of the vehicle, and am falling from the edge of the ramp. This particular scenario makes a lot more sense now that I know how to ride a motorcycle.
  85. Sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motions of life.
  86. I started dating Marcia simply because she liked me, and I knew that I really had no chance with Paula, the younger sister of Marcia's best friend. Marcia actually set Paula up with my friend Paul, so she could have my undivided attention.
  87. Lee broke up with me on Valentine's Day.
  88. Following almost three to four years of skiing, I tried to take snowboarding lessons. After falling on my head a few times, I gave up on it, and went back to the skill where I could actually get some velocity with little effort.
  89. While at a party in Gainesville, a confused girl asked me, based on our behavior, if Lee was my girlfriend or Allen's girlfriend. I replied, "she's both." And now you've seen my prolific life as a polyamorist.
  90. Lee asked me once, hypothetically, what I thought of joining a threesome with her and Allen. At the time, I was so enamored of her, that I contemplated it for a moment. A brief moment.
  91. I sometimes browse the entries at Yahoo! Personals or Lavalife, and even go so far as to contemplate filling out an application.
  92. I never do.
  93. Part of me misses the college rite of going to a 24-hour supermarket with your dormmates and trolling the aisles for groceries, while avoiding the big, floor-polishing machine.
  94. About eighteen months ago, I decided that I wouldn't buy anymore corporate-produced CDs because I didn't like where the RIAA wanted to stick their invasive noses. Since then, I've purchased:
    • Two Elvis CDs.
    • VNV Nation - FuturePerfect
    • Amélie Soundtrack
    • Delerium - Poem

  95. I've had laser eye surgery, but not for vision correction. I had a retinal detachment, which I suspect I got from falling 12 feet off of a climbing wall onto my side. The doctor had to shoot the laser about 1500 times into my eye to spot weld the retina back into place.
  96. A week ago, I discovered a black splotch on my back slightly smaller than a dime. I'll eventually get it checked. Eventually.
  97. The first girl I had a serious crush on, Sandra Vargas, wouldn't give me the time of day.
  98. I started writing (really banal) poetry for the second girl I had a serious crush on, Melissa Goldstein.
  99. When I was living with my parents, I decided to get a cat when I moved into my own place. When I moved to Atlanta, I discovered I was allergic to cats.
  100. In my first two weeks of college, I gained forty pounds.

It's taken me about four days to complete this, sometimes staying up past 2:00 AM. I've mentioned Rose Marie in ten entries, Lee in five, Marcia in three, Stacey in four, and the woman of my dreams in three. I have three different regrets. I talk about high school in ten entries, and college/grad school in 8. I'm tired now.
Current Mood: [mood icon] tired
Current Music: "Never Turn Your Back on Mother Earth" - Martin Gore

2 comments | Leave a comment )


(no subject) - (Anonymous)
thepeopleseason::2003.01.16.10:35 pm::Re: Courage
[User Picture]I actually expected a lot of people to wonder why they weren't included in my list. There's actually a few reasons:

  1. I tried not to put anything down where I didn't have a good perspective about it. Most of the entries you see are from my time in high school and college because I've had a long time to think about those events in my life.
  2. I tried to avoid mentioning specific names, except for people with little chance of returning to my life from my past (like Rose Marie), or people with little chance of ever being part of my my life to begin with (like Kristen). Otherwise, I felt a certain amount of discretion was in order, especially considering some of the people I'd talk about read this journal.
  3. As much as I reveal in this list, there are definitely some things I want to keep to myself.

Oh, and there is a little bit of you in the list, but really it's all I care to reveal at the moment...unless you'd like me to tell everyone about the





tiiguy::2003.01.17.01:34 am::1 thing about TIIGUY
[User Picture]I was coceived in Las Vegas.
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