Dear airport patron:
Nobody aside from the person you're talking to on the cellphone has one iota of give-a-crap about your powder-blue leather jacket getting stained when you took it through the car wash with your sunroof open. You should be aware that when you're drunk, you speak several voices louder than private-talk level.
P.S. Your husband/lover is loud and aggravating, too.
Must I really wait an extra forty minutes for my flight?