April 12th, 2005
2005.0412.1518::Yup, here's your problem. Someone set this thing to "Evil"
During lunch today, L described a feud she had waged against a neighbor. A few years ago, she had some parking spaces located down a single-lane driveway, and a neighbor who had a nasty habit of parking in said driveway. So when returning home at various hours, sometimes at 4:00 or 5:00 AM, she'd have to knock on her neighbor's door to get the girl to move the car.
I suggested an air horn, but everyone quickly decided that that would be a) too disturbing to other neighbors, and b) too evil. When asked if I would actually use the air horn, I said no, but then started wondering what was the most evil thing I've ever done.
The first one that comes to mind: Back when I was in college, I urinated on the driver's-side door handle of a car that was double-parked. I don't believe that's the only evil thing I've done, because I've got a sneaking feeling of guilt/pride that I've done something far more blog-worthy.
What's the most evil thing you've done for spite/revenge?
When we were 12, my friend Jennifer and I were mad at Rachel for some 6th grade reason. We sucked on Skittles and threw them at her. Her mom had to cut them out of her hair!
Wow, that's pretty harsh. Did you know they would stick like that?
No. So at least there is that?
Ew! That's gross... Remember what I posted before? I so take it back now.
Well, not that I'm not glad that you are actually alive versus dealing with final affairs but the part about sleeping with you - cuz - gross?
Yeah, I figured.
Still, parking over the line deserves some form of punishment, with or without excrement, especially when parking on campus is at a premium.
I'd have soaped on their window personally. But then again, I wrote on Hope's kid's door with toothpaste to tell him to clean his damn room. I think I'm might have a cleaning product fixation.
I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
I'm beginning to like this kid, Ma!
Personally, I'm a very nice person who thinks
about things like telling the homicidal current boytoy of a female buddy that the guy who just dumped me for another chick slept with said female buddy once recently, but doesn't generally do them. Though my sister left a squished dead mouse in the neighbor's mailbox.
Yeah, most of the time, I find the little angel on my shoulder telling me not to speak up or meddle or do anything like that (especially in the arena of interpersonal relationships).
I have to salute your sister, though. That's pretty evil.
Mind you, the same neighbors had such a history with us that my parents had joked about sneaking out in the dead of night and writing "WE'RE ASSHOLES" on their yard with Round-Up so that a month or so later the writing would appear in dead grass against the green. And at one point Dad, annoyed at their threats to call animal control on our dog if he kept getting out (and a bit drunk besides) threatened to shoot their cat if it kept drinking from our swimming pool. But the difference is that indeed, my parents did do any of the dreadful things they joked about either.