Let me rest in peace - that yellow bastard

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April 11th, 2005

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2005.0411.1550::Let me rest in peace
[ | ]
My dad called me as I was driving back from lunch today.

He had just received a call from a woman named Nicole, asking about me and something about "final affair." He had some pointed questions for me--did I know what she was talking about? Have I done something to be concerned about?

Now I suspect the presence of the word "affair" in her query makes him think that I'm up to my old imaginary lifestyle of whoring and womanizing that he's long suspected me of leading when living some 650 or so miles away from him. "Final affairs," however, to me suggests something entirely different, unless you're a complete sicko perv.

I call him back after I get to the office so I can get Nicole's number to call her and figure out what's going on. After bouncing around on hold, I finally get her on the line.

"Hello, this is Nicole."
"Hi, Nicole, this is James Hsiao. You placed a call to me earlier. Can I help you?"
"Umm... yeah. According to our records, you're deceased."

Apparently, I'm dead.

She asked me to verify the last four digits of my SSN. I wonder what would have happened had I said that she had a match...

9 comments | Leave a comment )


flattop::2005.04.11.09:08 pm
[User Picture]Who did she work for?
thepeopleseason::2005.04.11.09:27 pm
[User Picture]Sounded like a law firm: Phillips and Cohen and Associates.
amezri::2005.04.11.10:28 pm
[User Picture]That's really... odd. I hope you've gotten it straightened out. Although, I wonder what sort of perks you might get for being declared legally dead?
thepeopleseason::2005.04.12.04:35 am
[User Picture]Yeah, the social was completely not mine.

Although I kinda think it'd be neat to be legally dead for about five minutes, I think the "Sorry, we can't accept your dead credit card" shit would get old after the zeroth time...

kawaiiryuko::2005.04.12.03:35 am
[User Picture]Man, I hope she wasn't talking about me, either.
thepeopleseason::2005.04.12.04:33 am
[User Picture]Yeah, I thought about that. I even checked your friends list to see if anyone mentioned something.
aviationwolf::2005.04.12.04:29 am
You can't die - I haven't slept with you yet
thepeopleseason::2005.04.12.04:36 am
[User Picture]What about The Hotness?
aviationwolf::2005.04.12.04:37 am
Well, I've wanted to sleep with you longer and if you're going to be deceased...he can wait
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