I can't very well call it a "Giggle Stack" now, can I? - that yellow bastard

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November 8th, 2004

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2004.1108.0006::I can't very well call it a "Giggle Stack" now, can I?
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Got caught in a pretty bad giggle loop today, at Patty and Blake's wedding.

Today, as part of the ceremony, Patty and Blake decided to forego the traditional unity candle thing and do something called a "Sand Ceremony," which UltimateWedding.com describes as follows:
Simply find three containers, one for you and your fiance to pour the sand into, two for each of you to pour the sand from. You can find coloured or plain sand at most craft stores. After the officiant reads the text below (or any text you choose) pour the two containers of sand into the third container simultaneously. You may wish to leave a small amount of sand in each containter to symbolize that although you are now joined as one, you each remain individuals.
Now people who have been around me for longer than two hours probably notice that much of the crap that spews forth from my pie hole is allusional to late 70's and 80's movies, and while a great deal of the references are to pre-Home Alone John Hughes movies, one of the more prominent cinematic quotables is the Coen Brothers' triumph, Raising Arizona. People who have uttered the word "sand" when I was in earshot likely have heard me offer this followup in reference to the second quote on RottenTomatoes's movie profile:
(As an example, this exchange took place at a Linens 'N' Things in Newnan)
Girl At Register (regarding one of those Föm pillows): I think it's filled with sand.
Me: It's filled with what?
GAR: It's filled with sand.
Me: It's filled with sand?
GAR: Yeah
So when the officiant of the wedding started describing said sand ceremony, with frequent and unforgiving repetition of the word, I suddenly amassed a towering stack of pint glasses. I even sneaked a look at batnandu who luckily didn't meet my eye and cause an all-out punch fest. When the officiant ended her description, Patty and Blake walked over to the table to perform the ceremony. I regained my composure, thinking, "whew, good thing that's over..."

And then a woman in the row behind me who, judging by her zero volume control, might have been mostly deaf, exclaims, "Look! SAND!"

I don't remember much after that.

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