The Great Net Slambook - that yellow bastard

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November 10th, 2002


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2002.1110.0218::The Great Net Slambook
[ ]
About 1994-1995, back when the Internet was getting popular, I had started learning the basics of web design and programming. Drawing an idea from both Judy Blume novels and junior high school, I thought it might be neat to code up an HTML form to take and record all the various and sundry quirks, likes, and dislikes for anyone who visited my page, yes, a CGI Slambook.

Fortunately, my exceeding laziness convinced me, in a very devil-on-shoulder fashion, that actually doing something like that would be a horrendous waste of time, and thus, the Hsiao's version of the Great Net Slambook would only live in Lucien's Library.

Cut forward to November 10, 2002, and a few days after starting this livejournal, I happen upon the following quiz while playing with the Random Find Users link.

Sigh. So society has taken what could very likely be the greatest collaborative tool, the fastest and most far-reaching communication mechanism created to date, and reduced it to a junior-high school exercise in mental masturbation.

Oh well. At least I can still download MP3s...

Sex: Male
Birthday: 12/19/1973
Sign: Sagittarius
Siblings: Jerry
Hair color: Black
Eye color: Brown
Shoe size/height: 10.5, 5'11"
Who are your best friends?: Nandu, John
Any tattoos or piercings: Nope
Do you do drugs: Not once, but I'm all for legalizing marijuana
What are you most scared of: Either Michael Bolton or Kenny G.
What are you listening to right now: Stephen Cravis' "Through the Kaleidoscope," a remarkably pleasant piano piece reminiscent of some of the stuff that Wyndam Hill puts out.
What vehicle do you wish to have? Lexus SC430 or Kaneda's Motorcycle from Akira
Who is the last person that called you: A wrong number
Where do you want to get married: Either Atlanta or Las Vegas
If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? My intense urge for female companionship
Color: Dark Green
Whats your fav. food?: pretty much any food
Boy's names: Phil A., Andrew
Girls names: Amanda, Angela
Subjects in school: English, Computer Sci
Sports: Rock Climbing, Skiing
Given anyone a bath: Yes (??)
Smoked: Nope
Bungee jumped: Twice
Broken the law: Nothing beyond traffic laws
Made yourself throw-up: Yes, just to have the post-vomit relief from nausea.
Ever been in love: Abso-fuckin-lutely
Gold or Silver: Silver
What do you have for breakfast in the morning: Daily: Cereal/Waffles. Weekends: Some fancy brunch thing like Salmon Benedict
Current Clothes: T-shirt & Boxers (I'm in bed)
Current Mood: Tired.
Current Taste: Nothing in particular/stagnant saliva
Current Annoyance: a nagging hunger at 2:47 am
Current Smell: Scrubbing Bubbles Mildew remover with Bleach.
Current thing you ought to be doing: sleeping
Current Desktop Picture: High school graduation: me and my ex
Current Favorite Group: Hot Water Music
Current Book: Some personal finance book
Current DVD In Player: random pr0n
Current Refreshment: Most recently, a Napoleon following brunch/water
Current Worry: I haven't had sex in so long, I'm wondering if they've changed it.
Drink: water
Shoes: Generally black leather lace-ups
Candy: Sour Patch
TV Show: Old Buffy, Firefly
Vegetable: Potato
Fruit: Most any fruit.
On Dating.... Dating was far easier in high school and college when the people you considered dating were around you constantly. Dating, now that I'm older, just sucks because I couldn't really date co-workers at my old job, and I'm really too shy to approach women without abject terror seizing me.
Long or short hair? I like women with long hair. I like women with short hair. Really depends on the woman.
Dark or blond hair? Again, depends on the woman.
Tall or short? No preference, but as I'm almost 6'0", taller is more accomodative.
Mr. Sensitive or Mr. Funny? I'm more sensitive than funny. See, here's one of the perils of just boguing a questionnaire from a Random link--this is where I guess I'm supposed to answer if I like Mr. Sensitive or Mr. Funny more, which if I were a woman, I'd say "Mr. Danger." Casting this question towards the male, however, I'd say Ms. Funny, because in general, I'd be getting Ms. Sensitive in the same package.
Good guy or bad guy? I'm far too much the good guy. I've been with both good and bad girls. Depends on the girl...
Dark or light eyes? Shrug.
Hat or no hat? Depends on the hat...
Pierced or no? Piercings can be sexy...
Freckles or none? Freckles can be cute.
Stubble or neatly shaved? I think I'd like the women I see not to have stubble on their legs...
Rugged outdoorsy type or sporty type? Uhhh, what? I guess sporty (who wrote this quiz??).
On preferences....
Chocolate milk or hot chocolate? hot chocolate
McDonalds or Burger King? McDonalds, in general, if I absolutely must...
Marry the perfect lover or the perfect friend? Lovers can be trained. Friends cannot.
Sweet or sour? Both.
Root Beer or Dr. Pepper? Root Beer
Sappy/action/comedy/horror? All of the above.
Cats or dogs? Cats, for the most part.
Ocean or Pool? Depends on the setting.
Mud or Jell-O wrestling? They're always room for Jell-O
With or without ice-cubes? Depends on her mood.
Shine or rain? Shine
Winter/Summer/Fall/Spring? Winter
Vanilla or Chocolate? Vanilla
Gloves or mittens? Gloves
Chewing gum or hard candy? Hard Candy
Chicken or fish? Chicken
Number? 315
Holiday? Halloween
Place? Las Vegas or Newnan
Flower? Either Calla Lilies or Orchids--I'm not really up on my flower knowledge...

So there it is. Somehow I feel dumber for having completed it. Or maybe it's just because I've listened to the same song on repeat for the past hour...

Word of the moment: carabiner

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